Why would you bother to learn a new language, when our own can be so troublesome sometimes?

With readers of this blog in various corners of the globe, my last posting left some of them wearing puzzled looks as they sat in front of their screens!

Australians are notorious for shortening many of the words in our common language - much to the horror of lovers of grammar!  So, when I Aussiefied(!) a simple word like "football" into "footy", confusion reigned supreme!

Bad language?  No! (Lucky hey, or my mummy would have washed out my mouth with soap!)

We can also confuse our LOVERS with our language!  And I don't mean abusive language; or even "talking dirty", for the more risque of my readers!

"I just feel so distanced from him.  It feels like he's pushing me away"

This client "hears" love in the language of positive affirmations.  If her partner criticises her, then, no matter how lovingly the criticism is delivered, she's likely to read that criticism as rejection, and even evidence of loathing. 

When her lover plies her with gifts, brings her coffee in bed every morning, and hugs her close every night, she still believes he no longer loves her.  Why?  He's never "told" her in HER love language.  If every night he told her what a great cook she is, and expressed his appreciation in simple words of respect, awe or gratitude, then she'd be validated, and confident of his love.

Stupid?  No!  Self-indulgent?  Probably not!  Lost in translation?  Definitely!

In my work helping couples talk to each other about the important things, I often run into this aspect of miscommunication.  So, Gary Chapman's book "The Five Love Languages" is regularly on my recommended reading list.  It's an easy read, but chock-a-block with "aha" experiences for many couples!

So, I'll leave you with a question. 

How are your "language" skills at expressing your love?  Do you talk in his/her language or yours?  Ask your partner?  See if he/she hesitates? 

Comments

[Margaret]

I think you meant "Mommy" ;)

My husband and I both read Five Love Languages years ago. What was really telling was that we could both identify our OWN love language without any difficulty at all, but were quite clueless as to the other's.

[Karen]

I need to read this book! In my experience, men are often better at showing than telling, like in your example... you have inspired me to check out how MY message is getting across.

And it's definitely "Mummy" from down-under LOL

[Darius]

On the subject of communication or words in particular, a new word(s) that I've found recently is "staircase wit" (derived from French).

Ever thought of great arguments you should have put to someone, but thought of them too late or well afterwards; on the staircase on the way out. That's Staircase wit!

Haven't we all felt that way at times?

Darius

[Personal Growth]

Yes i do agree sometimes i have also made this same mistake it has not necessarily been foul language as such but i had used a lot of negative language and that had made a lot of negative impact on my partner and the people around me who were affected with that.