How much does confidence play a part in our success in the many aspects of our lives?

How much does the nasty little voice in our heads sabotage that confidence, if we have it at all?

For anyone to be able to effectively love another, that person needs to come to terms with, and then actually stand up and face the battle involved in, loving their self.

Yes I know it seems strange to some of my readers that there might be people in this world who may not be strong on love of self!  But it happens!  It happens for all kinds of reasons and is no more or less understandable than other human miseries.  So let's take it as a given and deal with it!

If someone YOU know struggles with low self-esteem, then they are also likely to be struggling with loving themselves.  As a result, finding confidence in their decisions and even in someone else's compliments to them is a struggle!

They need your unconditional love.  You may not understand HOW they could lack this important element.  They may not be aware enough to explain it to your satisfaction.  So just "build a bridge and get over it".  You, the stronger one, not the one struggling, just need to get used to the fact that you don't need to know/understand.   

What is critical for you to offer is acceptance.  Unconditional love is a love that doesn't need to understand, doesn't love despite something (excluding/conditional on certain aspects), but loves WITH all the flaws, foibles, unpleasant parts etc.

Endless unconditional love goes a LONG way to building confidence.   See what a massive gift you could be offering someone you love!

Believe me, I KNOW!  (Thank you my darling SweetP for teaching me so much about unconditional love with your acceptance of me just as I am/was.)

So when, last week, Anne Maybus over at The Tall Poppy, decided to initiate the Confidence-In-A-Box concept I just loved the idea.

Anne's own words capture it best.

... All of these women are strong, clever, great jugglers, passionate and dedicated. They are some of the most talented people that I know.

Why am I writing about them? I'll tell you.

It absolutely astounds me that such outstanding people can have such little confidence in themselves. Many have no real confidence at all, yet I think that they are amazing.

Confidence is a strange beast. It is born into some people. Others gradually discover it as they grow. Many people never really have it.

This really upsets me. I don't want to see anyone not fulfill their potential. So I have an idea.

Confidence in a Box
                                                 

I'm not sure, nor do I particularly want to know, if Anne knows about my endless struggle with confidence.  But I know lots of people find it amazing to discover that Pink Apple, supposedly confident, authoritative, and actually wearing an elaborate mask, can allow self-doubt to plague her!

So I can't NOT join Anne in her campaign to:

Send this image to someone that you admire, especially if you suspect they lack confidence or don't realise how inspiring they are. Tell them how good they really are. I want to see these boxes flying around the world.

Without making any comment on their levels of confidence, I'm sending these boxes to people I admire.  (For Anne the concept is aimed at women, but I'm going to expand it to men as well, because I admire their qualities as well.)  So here goes!  (But I'm only going to do 5 even though I could go on for many more!  So if you're not in my list, it doesn't mean I don't admire YOU!)

Karen Wallace from The Clearing Space is my wonderful co-author in SOXS, my business supporter, the best unpaid editor you could find, a gracious and serene mum, and an enormously giving and strong woman.

 Angela Esnouf from Creating Order From Chaos, another gracious, serene woman, who's strong on acceptance of people as they are and walking their path of environmental clutter with great charm and assistance.

Jory Des Jardins at Pause who's writing and creative abilities leave me floored, but who understands how personal stories and vulnerability can capture a reader's interest above all else.

Tim Milburn at Studentl.inc whose gentle and insightful sharing and extraordinary generosity regularly make me feel warm and appreciated, along with the many students he so clearly supports in so many ways.

Amanda Cox at Diary of a Mad Cow whose honest and generous support of women with young children, and sometimes post-natal depression, is counterbalanced by an extraordinary radar for the ridiculous and absurd in daily family life. 

The best way to experience love and admiration is to give it away.  So you five, experience that admiration by giving it away.

But YOU, the rest of my readers, who DIDN'T get tagged.  Aren't you going to hand around some admiration and confidence as well?

Comments

[Anne Maybus]

Chris, you DO seem very confident, but that is not why I was hoping that you would support my idea. You are a very perceptive lady and you write brilliantly. I am certain that with your special style of interpersonal skills you will be well able to pinpoint those people needing a boost. As you say, many of us fall for the PR and don't see beyond the surface. I think that you do, and that you want to give some confidence to others. This is why I asked for your support. Thank you for helping me spread some confidence.

[Karen Wallace]

Chris, dear friend, you DO say the nicest things! I am totally thrilled to be the recipient of such a beautiful blue box. Thank you for sharing some confidence! I will take up the challenge and send a few of these boxes flying around the world.

Chris, you show up so authentically in whatever you do - your voice is so very much YOUR voice, and it shows the outside world how comfortable you are in your own skin. I count myself lucky indeed to call you my friend and business partner.

[Chris Owen]

Anne
Gosh you're making me blush!
I'm not sure which of your superb compliments I find more thrilling, Perceptive or Write Brilliantly.
That nasty little demon voice in my head is trying to tell me otherwise but you know what? All i can say is Thank You for noticing. Both those comments hit right home to my core and build me up in ways you might not be able to imagine.
Thanks for the confidence boost, in fact, it's a confidence power-pack!

[Chris Owen]

Karen
You're being kind to me too!!
Authenticity and Perception! What better things could people say about someone? Not too many!
Thanks for hitting the target dead centre with your compliments too. They've filled me with confidence and affirmation.
Growing in our work together seems such a natural evolution doesn't it?

[Emmer]

Well done Chris! How wonderful to support those you look up to and admire. Confidence is so important and yet is often hard to grasp. This is one of the best posts I've ever read. Thank you for your tremendous insight. Maryanne

[Chris Owen]

Maryanne
Nice to see you again at Casa Pink Apple!
But what wonderful affirmations you offer as you step in the door! Thank you, my dear. Your comments have touched my heart in all the right places. Best Post? OMG! I KNOW you've read heaps so thanks enormously!!
Pop in for a virtual cuppa, anytime you like dear!

[Angela Esnouf]

Boy do you have a way with words, Chris. And you really know how to make a girl feel special. I always come away from a chat with you inspired, energised and confident.