... Another article sharing the Secrets Successful Relationships - Starting Out Together.
Up till now you've led a busy life, right?
Neither of you want your own life to be tossed away because you're a couple. Right?
But how are you going to blend these two lives ...
... without losing what's important to each of you
... but with respect and acknowledgment of just how important this person is in your world?
Have you made room for Him/Her in YOUR daily life?
Yes Pink Apple understands you've been "going out"/dating for a while (at least a few weeks we hope!). So this person has been in your life in that time. And perhaps you've been having sleep-overs at each other's homes, or perhaps not. Yes we "get" that there's been a gradual introduction of this person into your life!
But, then you were dating! Now you're committing!
There's a DIFFERENCE!
But how is it now going to BE different?
How are you going to make room for him/her EMOTIONALLY, ENVIRONMENTALLY, and in your DAILY ACTIVITIES and PRIORITIES?
How is she/he going to see that your priorities have shifted to put him/her top of the list? What will be the clear, totally unambiguous signs? (You ARE making this person top of your priorities list aren't you? If you're not, then are you deluding yourself, or your partner, about the significance of the relationship?)
- Are you both moving to a new location together?
- If not, how much space is being freed up to blend both of your valued possessions?
- Where are the incomer's clothes, shoes, furniture, sports equipment, books, CDs, documents going to be?
- Is there literally enough room?
- Does she/he feel welcomed into the space? Or, does he/she have to fit in around you? is it all fair and equitable? (If not, how is he/she coping with the disrespect you're showing?)
- Now that you're going to be a couple together, how will social activities be different?
- Have you negotiated a fair and mutually agreed time with the friends you each have? (Note Pink Apple said "Fair and mutually agreed"!)
- Are you prepared to leave pub crawls with your mates to a now-past life? Alternatively will your partner be a warmly accepted regular member of that group?
- What will you do if your friends don't welcome her/him? Who will be your priority?
- How will you have interests that are yours alone? How will you use those interests to bring new insights and pleasures to your couple life?
- How will you spend time with each other's families? Even if families are geographically distant, you can still be part of the group.
- How are you being integrated into his family? And vice versa?
- How are you going to show up to your partner each day? How are you going to ensure your partner gets the "real you" rather than the romanticised you? How will you do that with due respect for him/her?
- What parts of single life will you now let go?
- How will you introduce couple life to your daily activities?
Yes there IS lots to think about, isn't there?