SweetP and I went out to a fund-raising event the other night. We knew no-one there. Not a soul but the hostess, and needless to say she was too busy to be "holding our hands". We needed to meet new people and so we began to chat with others.
By the end of the night, Pink Apple was prattling away, generally enjoying herself as much as you can making conversation with strangers, when the music and the voices just kept getting louder. (Yes I know I'm starting to sound like a boring old fart!)
SweetP was exhausted.
Making conversation takes energy for anyone but some of us it drains and others find it energising!
Why? Because we're different!
In this case, as I'm an extrovert and I get my energy from others, it's no wonder I was feeling bright-eyed and bushy-tailed even though my feet were killing me! Poor old introverted SweetP finds those kinds of events difficult. As he gets his energy from within himself, having to expend it with other people, especially strangers, drains him and leaves him feeling like a wrung-out rag!
Being different will never ruin a relationship UNLESS you fail to:
- really grasp what the differences are,
- learn how the differences will show up in certain situations, ESPECIALLY times of crisis,
- respect those differences
- accommodate the differences
- allow space for nurturing your partner just as he/she is
- understand how they will show up in problem solving
- honor your partner's beliefs and self without attempting to change them
- be curious about what it's like to walk in your partner's shoes and share with him/her how it is to walk in your shoes.
It's actually a fascinating journey of discovery that's lots of fun to explore together.
There are many ways to explore. Here's a very brief list of books and websites you might find useful.
- Please Understand Me II: Temperament, Character, Intelligence
- The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate
- Discovering Your Personality Type: The Essential Introduction to the Enneagram, Revised and Expanded
Have fun and let me know how you get on!